Over the weekend, I read a book called “The arts of being deaf: a memoir” by Donna McDonald as I was ill with a cold.
Blurb can be found here: http://gupress.gallaudet.edu/bookpage/ABDbookpage.html
The emotions were triggered throughout the book. Personally, the first chapter, when she talked about Jack really hit the core of my emotion and brought back the memories of 10 years ago (January 2004), the day when I was forced to let Isabelle go … yes that what I called my pregnancy at the time although the situation itself was not the ideal situation to be in. Its a long story and it is not something I want to talk about and only few people knows this story and how much heartache there was with this situation. It was not a choice made by me but a decision imposed upon me. The pain will never be dissolved.
I understood where Donna stood with being deaf in hearing world and with Jack… the pain within ourselves will never be dissolved although it can be acknowledged. I have been to about 3 different psychologist and quite a few counselling in my life and to me, it doesn’t really help in understanding pain. Maybe it does to people but don’t even tell me to see a counsellor or psychologist because I have had enough of them in my lifetime.
Being deaf and in mainstream school, I was already identified at risk child by the time I was 9 years old because of my parents divorce and like being alone with my books in the library. I rarely have a big group of friends – only one or two friends was enough for me. I grew up with books and often my parents often worried about my social skills. Yes, my social skills were horrible and I believe it is still horrible today. Not that I care because I am content with the achievements in my life – I travelled, I studied, I got a fulltime permanent job and I enjoy circus. Yet, I am observant and introvert. 🙂
Even people mentioned that I am weird, have strong personalities and have opinion about everything … that who I am. In the end, I aim to enjoy my life in a way that it is compatible to me. I don’t let anyone drag me down just because they cannot achieve what they want in their life. My upbringing moulded me into the person that I am today even though I suffered by several incidents in my upbringing such as divorce, poor social life, high education achievement, rape, high school bullying and the lists goes on… I overcame several obstacles in my life and I will continue to do so in the future.
I have the best in both world – deaf and hearing world just by being me.
Thanks to Donna for sharing your experience in hope it will have such impact on the readers who will read your book.